One of the most challenging things a painter can come across regularly is a blank, white piece of paper or canvas. How do you break into that perfection, that clean sheet? Some get around it by using tinted paper or brushing a wash over before starting – it takes away a little of the fear and enables the first tentative brushstrokes to commence.
I have the same issue with this blog. Where to begin. I guess the who, why, what and where is going to be the colour-wash for me.
I’m Rachael Greenland. I have spent my life aspiring and I’m now moving to inspiring. As a teenager I desperately wanted to be a Fine Artist, but my dear father stated very clearly that I’d never make a living painting. I took it to mean that I wasn’t good enough so took up his suggestion to train as a teacher instead. There are times in life when it’s ok to be told what to do, especially when it’s done by someone who knows (and loves) you very well and has YOUR interests at heart as opposed to their own.
I found I loved teaching, but circumstances were that I had to get a job, any job, and there were few teaching posts available. I spent 10 years doing a variety of jobs, mainly accounts based which I discovered were enjoyable and was good at too.
After being diagnosed with ME in 1995 I looked further into myself – you could call it a spiritual quest – and began the process of getting to know and accept me. I learnt healing and completed an HNC in textiles and found my heart soaring. Time lost all meaning when my hands were in fabric or fibre. I then had to decide on the marriage or going to London (from Cornwall) to do a degree in textiles.
I was torn between being good or being happy. “Good” won the day and I went on to train to be a Tellington TTouch practitioner working with people who had animal problems. Textiles took a back seat and I became an accidental businesswoman when http://www.mekuti.co.uk started as a sideline to my behaviour work. It is now enabling me to follow my dreams.
On moving to Wales I went on a Lightning Process seminar and became well. About a year later I woke up and suddenly realised that my marriage of 16 years was completed. There was no anger, no plate throwing, just a sense that I wanted things to change as easily as they could. It was during this time that I found Gill Edwards and her wonderful book “Wild Love”; to say it changed my life would understate its effect on me. Gill enabled me to end the marriage in a gentle and loving way – ex-husband may feel differently – and to start the journey into happiness.
I now live in Yorkshire with my cats and dogs and the most wonderful man imaginable. He has taught me how to have fun again, to laugh, to cry, to live, but mainly to be ME and not be afraid of any of it! It’s huge to be able to say anything and not be judged, to feel how I feel and be supported, but most of all, to have someone who stands by me and says “do what you need to do – it’s all great”.
In my new life I have re-discovered my love of music and am learning to play djembe and Ukulele (not at the same time you understand); I have a wonderful circle of new friends who are amazing, and I am re-kindling my passion for textiles.
It feels as though at some stage in my life I fell asleep. I’m awake now and ready to play, but have forgotten how to do it without feeling guilty. I signed up to do the 30 Day Challenge with http://www.screwworkletsplay.co.uk in my attempt to work through this. I shall be making felt pieces through the month whilst journalling my progress (physical and emotional) on the blog, and I will be running a workshop at the end to teach others how to make felt and maybe have some fun doing it.
Every day is new. Every day is joy. Every day just is. It’s all great.